Category Archives: Sexual dysfunction

sexuality

When Does Sexuality Begin?

Stages of the beginning of sexuality

beginning of sexualityThere had been times when sex and sexuality were one of the least discussed topics, they were more like taboos. But nowadays it’s perfectly normal to discuss them; these are still fairly personal but no more considered as forbidden knowledge. The terms Sexuality and sexual orientation are sometimes alternatively used for each other and to a great extant its well justified. Sexuality is about understanding your personal sexual feelings and attractions towards others while sexual orientation is exploring your sexuality and placing yourself in pre-defined categories such as heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality and asexuality. There is no definite age at which sexuality begins as there are multiple environmental and social factors that are responsible for it. Biological and socially the age of beginning depends upon Gender, hormonal balance, ethnicity, family values, substance and drug use, socioeconomic makeup, religious beliefs, cultural views about sex, women liberation etc.

It’s not justified to say that sexuality only begins when a child starts understanding its environment because we all are sexual beings, even  an infant have a different overall body structure and organs distinctly a male or a female or sometimes both, these factors through some extant can predict a child’s sexual orientation. On the other hand young children are usually curious about their bodies, between ages zero to five, it is considered normal for them to touch their own body parts and also ask questions about related topics.

Gender plays a very important role in the onset of sexuality. It refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that are assigned to men and women in any given society There are defined gender roles and expectation in every society that how men and women should behave. There are cultures where it is alright for men to talk about sex whether women are expected to stay silent on these matters. They cannot be assertive about their sexual preference and orientation; simply they are not given enough liberation to express their sexual desires.

The hormonal theory of sexuality and gender identity explains in detail that, exposure to certain hormones  at early stages of development plays a very important role in fetal sex differentiation, such exposure also has a strong influence on the sexual orientation and or gender identity that emerges later in the adult. Differences in brain structure that come about from chemical messengers and genes interacting on developing brain cells are believed to be the basis of sex differences in countless behaviors, including sexual orientation. Prenatal factors that affect or interfere with the interaction of these hormones on the developing brain can influence later sex-typed behavior in children. On the other hand hormonal production and balance biologically determines the increased awareness of sexual behaviors in children. Usually children start facing hormonal changes after the age of ten that greatly impacts their attitude towards sex and sexuality.

Socioeconomic and environmental issues have long been discussed as key role players in the onset of sexuality in children. Within sound socio economic settings, children are more exposed to facilities such as internet, magazines, sex educations guides and most importantly social media at an early age. Also in cultural settings where public show of affection is culturally accepted, children possess early beginning of sexuality. They have more references to real life so they could understand their own desires in a much better way as compared to those children who do not have access to our basic information systems and facilities. The trends of proper sex education in a culture can enhance the rates of children getting involved in sexual habits at an early age. On the other hand educated families tend to be more open about sex and sex education with their children. The question “what is the appropriate age?” for discussing such personal and sensitive topics with children has haunted parents and psychologists for a long time, but now it’s an established fact that healthy sex education can greatly reduce the risk of children developing aberrant sexual habits due to wrong information from wrong sources.

In societies where children can have easy access to drugs and other similar substances, it has been seen that sexual behavioral abnormalities and early understanding of sexual practices occur as one of the many side effects of these drugs. The concept of normal and abnormal habits is totally relevant to the age of a child. There are practices that are considered for a child five years of age but the same practices are normal for a child around ten years of age.

One more important parameter in determining the commencement of sexuality is religious practices. Religious practices often forbid extra marital sex, and private habits like masturbation. From a psychological perspective it is perfectly normal a child to have inappropriate thoughts and touching their own body parts but these same practices are at time forbidden, when these practices are strictly followed, children are kept socially isolated from being getting indulged in such activities that can delay social inception of sexuality.

In conclusion, the commencement of sexuality can not only be based one or few factors, it’s a complex process which has equal involvement of biological processes and social and environmental practices around the individuals. Sexuality cannot be generalized, every individual is unique and so are their experiences towards life, there are multiple encounters that shape the sexual orientation of a child. Even once decided and sorted out, there are significant chances that a person’s sexuality can change over the period of time. These intricate matters still need a lot of discussion to answer more complex questions related to this basic knowledge. For this purpose we have arranged Integrative Addiction Conference which focuses on more sensitive issues of human sexuality and addiction. It is a great opportunity for health professionals. Students, psychologists, policy makers and every related field experts to join this platform and help build an integrated system for the solution of current problems related to above mentioned issues.

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normal-sexuality

What Is Normal Sexuality? What Affects Your Sexuality

What Affect Our Normal Sexuality?

Normal sexualityAlthough Biology plays a very vital role, the way sexuality is perceived, expressed or acted upon differs with different cultures. As such, what is seen as normal sexuality in one culture may not be normal in another. Basically, sexuality talks about people’s sexual interest and/or attraction to others. It is the potential to have sexual or erotic feelings and experiences one to the other. The subject of sexuality is therefore a complex one since there are many cultures around the world. In other to be able to tackle with this subject, in some way, we will have to zero down to what ‘normal’ is within most cultures.

Scientifically, when something is said to be ‘normal’, it means average. Contrarily, when something is said to be ‘healthy’, it means it is adaptive. What this infers therefore is that what is normal sexuality depends on many things, apart from culture now, just like it is pretty difficult for an individual to answer the question “Am I normal?” The truth is, what defines a healthy sexuality varies to a large degree.

Because of these variables, we often wonder whether our sexual needs, desires or interests are normal. As a matter of fact, married people who use the services of therapists often ask about normality. Therefore to define normal or abnormal sexuality, it is necessary to define “sexuality” and “abnormality” Sexuality includes every component including, and is not limited to,  sexual behaviors, sexual desires, sexual attitudes that one is engaged in, sexual function, preferences and identification. Psychologically, on the other hand, abnormality is seen from 3 perspectives

  1. The Frequency Perspective: Which considers the abnormality of a behavior based on the rarity of occurrence in a general population
  2. The Social Norms Perspective: Which considers the abnormality of a behavior based on what is socially acceptable
  3. The Maladaptive Perspective: This considers the abnormality of a behavior when it causes problems in the life of the person who exhibits such behavior.

Sexuality or a sexual behavior is therefore said to be abnormal when it is not reported frequently from the frequency perspective. The problem with this perspective is that frequency can only be based on what is reported. If a particular sexual behavior is not reported, it doesn’t mean it is not in existence. If people are not willing to disclose, then the frequency will be low. A very large portion of sexuality-based researches are based on self-report. People get asked sensitive questions such as sexuality and they are expected to answer correctly. But more often than not, people distort the truth. For instance, women may be asked about how many sexual partners they keep or they have had so far in their lifetime. In most studies, women round down while men round up. In both cases, the figures are distorted and not exact giving results that are either an over-representation or under-representation of that the truth is. In most studies therefore, based on the frequency perspective, what is normal sexuality refers to sexual feelings towards the opposite sex. This is the most frequently reported.

Looking at the social norms perspective of normal sexuality, one can see clearly that this has to do largely with religion, politics, societal beliefs and ancestry. In most cultures around the world, the term ‘normal’ refers to what is ‘more acceptable’. Rather than seeing ‘normal’ as what is ‘absolutely acceptable’ and abnormal as ‘absolutely unacceptable’, each culture finds a way of identifying a range or spectrum of behaviors that may be more or less acceptable. Also, what is normal culturally tend to change over a period of time. For instance, pre-marital sex may be abnormal in the 1950s but is now acceptable in the 2000s. Normal sexuality from this point of view is pretty dicey as many cultures practice many kinds of sexuality and it is therefore difficult to find a ‘general normal’ from this perspective.

From the Maladaptive point of view, normal sexuality is beheld from the perspective of what is ‘healthy’, not what is ‘average’. This perspective therefore only seeks to know whether a sexual behavior is causing troubles, bringing harm to the individual or to the whole society. While the first two perspectives, the Frequency and the Social Norm perspective are seen as ‘objective’, trying to zero down on what is acceptable, the maladaptive point of view cares less, it only wants to know whether what is seen as normal or abnormal by the first two perspectives interferes with someone’s life. As long as it doesn’t, it is considered normal and when it does, it is considered abnormal sexuality.

Obviously, from the above definitions of ‘What is Normal Sexuality?’, it is clear that the topic of sexuality is very complex. I personally think what can be done to do justice to this topic is to ask questions such as

  1. Is this acceptable to me and my partner?
  2. Is this sexuality manipulative, exploitative, coercive or self-destructive?
  3. Does it cause any kind of harm to my partner or the society as a whole?

WHAT AFFECTS SEXUALITY?

Sexuality is normal in itself. It is biological and it is what develops with an individual right from birth. What affects sexuality is mostly external, rather than natural or internal. For instance, a female might have found out she is never satisfied with intercourse without clitoral stimulation. Because her partner does not seem to be into this, she finds it hard to discuss and as such, she over time resolves that clitoral stimulation may be something unacceptable for her partner. She recedes to a life of sex without satisfaction.

Also, the taboos of masturbation may prevent an individual from discovering sexual pleasure based on hand stimulation and because of this, such individual finds it hard later in life to direct their partners on how to use this method to bring them sexual satisfaction.

For me, most have come to believe that their ‘manliness’ or self-worth is largely based on their ability to please their partners. He therefore puts all focus on performing rather than enjoying sex. When the partner doesn’t seem to be satisfied, such men get depressed or start having sexual anxiety which cause problems such as erection dysfunction, which later causes problems in the relationship.

These and many more external factors affect human sexuality. You are invited to the AwareMedNetwork Conference where issues such as this and more will be discussed exhaustively. Please visit the official website to register.

 

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hypersexual-disorder

What is hypersexual disorder and its symptoms?

Signs that you have hypersexual disorder

Hypersexual DisorderThe National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined hypersexual disorder alternatively and casually called sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others. Hypersexual disorder is a psychological disorder, and these individuals who suffer this, should not be looked down upon. There is a dire need of understanding how things for them, only the perverse acts should be hated but not the individuals. As the severity of disorder increases so is their frustration.  About 71 percent of child molesters are sex addicts. For many, their problems are so severe that imprisonment is the only way to ensure society’s safety against them.

There are a number of symptoms hypersexual individual suffer, most of them have to do with a recurrent and insatiable desire to get involved in sexual activities, fantasies, urges and many more. The extent to which an addict shows signs and symptoms is greatly affected by individual’s personality, environment, culture, religious beliefs and the severity of disorder. Most of the times a person remains disconnected to the outer world and remain submerged in planning sexual acts and look at majority of individuals around him/her in a sexual way. Their minds get plagued by the foolish rewards system they have developed over a period of time that gives them a false sense of euphoria and enchantment once they engage in a sexual activity. Secondly they get easily driven by their desire of more and more such encounters as they start considering this euphoria as a basic human need without which their survival isn’t possible.

When a person suffers hypersexual disorder, their majority of time is spent in planning activities and fantasies and perfect sexual scenarios that might never occur. They start looking at everyone with the same eye. This could result in them committing sexual crimes. Not all of the sex addicts get engaged in sexual crimes as they can manage their desired by possessing multiple partners, prostitutes, phone sex an online dating services. But when the disorder takes a toll with high levels of frustration building in an individual, it becomes difficult for the addict to contain these wicked thoughts to themselves.

An addict mostly have very low self-esteem, self-loathing and self-shamming are two very basic symptoms of hypersexual disorder. They consider themselves as un-lovable entities and often have this issue of objectifying their potential sexual partners that creates an atmosphere of distress and disdain. They often become mysterious and lack common sense of boundaries. They can’t differentiate between normal and healthy sexual needs and perverse wicked needs for excessive sex.

These individuals engage in these activities in result of many factors and happenings around them, mostly their sexual fantasies are a perfect way of running away from stressful event of their lives. What they are unable to understand is that their ventures are not going to solve their problem, rather they will intensify them. The quick gain of false euphoria makes it impossible for them to avoid these encounters again and again. They repetitively try to refrain from these activities and stay unsuccessful in controlling their desires. With time and severity of disease, they completely start disregarding the emotional harm cause by these urges to themselves and others as well. They will anything that satisfied them for a while without considering the consequences

The person experiences clinically noteworthy personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior. These people becomes isolated as they are so absorbed in their own thoughts that they severely feel a lack of connection with the outer world, a sense of no understanding prevails in almost all of sex addicts. Even though they will loathe themselves for their acts but usually they will not accept it to another person, majority of these do not reach out for help, they get so addicted and dependent that it becomes really difficult to even think about the idea of surviving without their own world of perversion.

The people suffering hypersexual disorder also get engaged in other forms of addiction as substance abuse and alcohol; this does not help them in any way rather than making them more miserable. It’s important to note that none of the above mentioned symptoms are due to the direct physiological effects of drugs or medication or manic episodes. They find drugs as a suitable alternative to their sexual euphoria and to find escape from a distressful life they have built for themselves yet again this worsens the situation rather than making it better.

They excessively get involved in masturbation, pornography, sexual Behavior with Consenting or non-consenting individuals, cybersex, telephone Sex and strip Clubs. It is considered normal for people engaging in these activities once in a while but excess of everything is bad and that’s the only underlying reason for sex addiction. These individuals would go to any lengths or escalating frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.

It is a cry for help if you or any of your loved ones possess these above mentioned symptoms of hypersexual disorder, it’s understandable and painful to see your loved ones suffer but these individuals do no seek help, it’s a good way to get them to a conference where they can learn a lot about sexual and other kinds of addiction and their available treatment options without feeling any kind of shame. Our aim to organize Integrated Addiction Conference is to help people understand multiple aspects of addiction through extensive lectures and researches done by the scientist from all over the world. If you are looking forward to understand addiction in more detail or you have something valuable to share with the community, now is the chance to get registered with us on the link below and get innumerous benefits along with this conference. The link to registration is http://www.awaremednetwork.com/integrativeaddictionconference/.

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